I always manage to get the gay VIP treadmill (the one in front of HGTV) #win
My sister to the pizza guy: “I can assure you that I’m not a drag queen. I have a real vagina between these legs”
Injected myself with allergy stuffs for the first time and it was a piece of cake. Why do heroin addicts complain so much?!
Selma was my birthplace and so happens to be an anagram of Salem. Coincidence?